In the Future...

Marko the Magnificant and His Mystic Mind Powers Predict...

 

...There will no longer be Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. Instead we will be blessed with the "Lil' Shopper" program. Children will be sent to mandatory "Lil' Shopper" camps where they learn all the crucial skills for selecting luxury goods approved and  provided by Our Dear Leader. 

Instead of Merit Badges, they will be awarded Prestige Patches for mastering tasks such as memorizing the Luis Vuitton catalog or knowing all the available options for the BMW i-series.

Not needing useless information such as starting a fire or reading the stars (Hollywood stars excepted!), they will be trained in crucial skills such as managing a credit rating, identifying varieties of caviar and truffles, and the mechanics of bankruptcy. 

Following the example of Our Dear Leader, they will learn to have the best of everything until the debt is too high, then Presto Chango - file for Chapter 11 and start fresh! (The chumps left holding the bag are clearly inferior and not products of the "Lil' Shopper" program).

They will also be enrolled in the "Lil' Witness" program to help them develop into the valuable Little Eyes and Little Ears our Dear Leader Needs. If mom or dad dare to shop at a dirty discounter, or avoid the Holy Sales Tax or buy non-approved merchandise they will be trained to alert the Department of Homeland Shopping immediately!